


Techno's Only Had Micheal For Fifteen Minutes

by Mablung17



Category: DreamSMP, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Fluff, Gen, I will single-handedly make the DreamSMP tags happen if I have to, Platonic Relationships, Queerplatonic Relationships, Technoblade finds out about Micheal, Worried Parent Ranboo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-24 06:47:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30068280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mablung17/pseuds/Mablung17
Summary: Techno shakes his head and lets out a frustrated grunt, only to nearly trip face first into a snowbank when something behind him echoes it. He draws his sword and spins, dropping into a ready guard. He spots his would-be opponent and blinks, utterly nonplussed.There's a baby standing behind him. A baby zombie piglin standing in the middle of the arctic circle behind the famed Technoblade, acolyte of the Blood God.“What.” He deadpans.
Relationships: Philza & Micheal, Ranboo & Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Ranboo & Tubbo & Micheal, Technoblade & Micheal
Comments: 47
Kudos: 609
Collections: Completed stories I've read





	1. Chapter 1

Ranboo blinks at his communicator, ears tilting back in dismay, “What did you say?”

Tubbo grimaces, “I said Michael will have to come stay with you for a while. We’re running some tests and it won’t be safe here.”

‘It’s not exactly safe here either!” Ranboo’s voice starts to raise before he forces it back down into a quiet hiss. He glances over his shoulder, paranoid despite the fact that Technoblade isn’t likely to be anywhere near. 

“I don’t like it either, Ranboo. I know firsthand how dangerous Technoblade can be.” The light catches on shiny scar tissue as Tubbo shifts.

Ranboo winces, “Sorry…”

“It’s fine.” Tubbo says flatly. He continues in his normal, cheerier tone, “You can hide him, and it’s much safer there if something goes wrong here.”

“That doesn’t exactly make me feel better,” Ranboo mutters, before sighing in defeat, “Fine.” 

Tubbo nods, “I’ll get him ready for you to pick up.” He glances off to the side as someone shouts something, he looks back and cracks a tired smile, “I have to go. I’ll see you later, Boo.”

Ranboo smiles, “Bye, Bee.” The hand holding his communicator goes lax as the screen goes dark, hitting the table with a quiet  _ thump _ . He contemplates the ceiling, claws tapping lightly against the table, “Well. This isn’t ideal.” He hauls himself out of his chair, long limbs unfolding as he rises to his full height. He has to talk to Phil. 

* * *

Phil is shoveling dirt out the front of his and Techno’s joint cabins, working on terraforming the land back to what it was. 

“Hey, Phil?” 

The man turns, “Oh, Ranboo. Hey, mate, what’s up?” He drives the shovel deep into the frozen earth with a grunt and leans forward to brace his arms on the handle. 

Ranboo wrings his hands together nervously before forcing them back down to his sides, “Ah, well, you remember Michael?” 

Phil chuckles, wiping a hand absently across his forehead, “‘Course, cute little thing, why?”

“He might need to, sort of, stay with me for a while? Instead of with Tubbo in Snowchester. He’s doing some um. Tests. And we don’t really want our kid around that, y’know?” He laughs awkwardly as he finishes, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck. 

Phil’s brows draw together and he glances at Techno's cabin, “Mate... are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Not really. I think it’s a terrible idea, actually. But, y’know, lesser of two evils. Not that Techno is-  _ evil,” _ Ranboo hurries to add, “he can just be a bit-” He cuts himself off with a grimace, his tail anxiously winding itself around his ankle. 

Phil laughs, though it’s more wry than truly amused, “Yeah, you’re not wrong there.” He runs a hand over his face tiredly, “When’s he coming?”

Ranboo shifts, “Today? This evening probably?”

Phil bursts into startled laughter, “Fucking hell, mate. That’s not a lot of time to prepare. Jesus.” He thinks for a second, rubbing his hands together in an attempt to bring some feeling back to his frozen fingers. 

“Alright,” he says slowly, “here’s the plan. Techno is paranoid as fuck, but he’s also an oblivious bastard. He’ll know something’s up, but we can divert his attention. You’ll have to keep Michael in your house, maybe in that comfort room of yours. Tech and I hardly ever go over your way, but I’ll try to keep him away regardless.”  He puts a comforting hand on Ranboo’s shoulder when the younger man looks overwhelmed, “It’ll be fine, Ranboo. I’ll protect the kid if it comes down to it. We won’t let anything happen to ‘em.”

Ranboo lets out a shaky breath, nodding solemnly. His voice is serious as he says, “Thank you, Phil. This means more to me than you know.”

Phil smiles humorlessly, and all of a sudden he looks ancient and bone-weary and  _ tired _ , “I think I have some idea.” 

_ Shit _ , Ranboo thinks, but Phil lifts his hand and clasps it firmly to Ranboo’s shoulder once more. Ranboo sputters for something to say, but Phil strides past him before he can think of some way to apologize. 

As Ranboo spins to watch him go, Phil’s already halfway back to the house. He pauses before he opens the door, rolling his shoulders back in that unconscious way he sometimes does, before he steps through. 

Ranboo had asked Techno about the decidedly bird-like motion once. His face had gone grieved and shadowed and he grunted, “Resettlin’ his wings.” 

‘Phil has wings?” Ranboo whispered back, eyes wide. 

Techno went silent, before murmuring, “Not anymore.” so quietly Ranboo almost couldn’t hear it. He’d dropped that line of questioning, after. It was obviously painful for the both of them. 

* * *

Ranboo’s eating with Techno and Phil when his communicator vibrates in his pocket. He glances down, tilting it so he can scan it without taking it all the way out. The words blink on the screen,  _ Tubbo_ whispered to you: He’s ready. _

Ranboo inhales and glances over to Phil, nodding shallowly when he catches his eye. Phil tips his chin down very slightly before turning his attention back to Technoblade. Ranboo shifts, his anxiety rising as he tries to think of an excuse to leave early.  _ Act like everythings fine and everything will be fine. _

“Hey, Ranboo,” Phil’s soft voice breaks through his internal panic, “You look tired, mate. Maybe you should call it early for the night.”

“Mmmh, he’s right you know. You look kinda stressed,” Techno observes casually, taking a bite of mushroom stew. 

Ranboo very decidedly does  _ not _ freeze in place. 

Phil smacks Techno upside the head, “Don’t bully the kid, Tech.” 

The hit hardly moves the burly hybrid, and he waits a deliberate second before moving his head to the side and saying, succinctly, “Ow.” 

Phil scoffs, “Oh, come off it. That didn’t do  _ shit _ .”

“No, no, Phil. I’m very hurt,” he shoots back, amused. 

After weeks of living with the man, Ranboo’s been able to pick up the subtler cues in Techno’s usual monotone. 

He’s also gotten comfortable enough to interrupt with a quiet little, “Thank you,” before they can devolve into their usual bickering. “I am actually pretty tired, long day, y’know.” He chuckles, drawing his shoulders up and tipping his head ever so slightly to the side with an embarrassed smile. 

Techno waves a hand, “You’re fine, kid. ‘Night.”

“Goodnight, Ranboo,” Phil adds softly, leaning back in his chair, “Don’t worry about the dishes. I’ll take care of ‘em tonight.” 

Ranboo has a feeling Phil’s not just talking about the dishes, though, if he’s honest, there’s about an equal chance he is. 

* * *

He spots Tubbo easily, his husband holding hands with their son. Michael kicks at the snow, mesmerized by the fluffy clouds of powder that his little hooves kick up. Ranboo waves, one long arm arcing into the air. Tubbo waves back and he still looks tired, but his face splits into a grin all the same. 

Tubbo rocks back on his heels, grin turning sly as he says, “Boo.” 

“Bee,” Ranboo returns affectionately, smiling so wide his cheeks ache.

Michael lets out a delighted sounding squeal and slams into Ranboo’s leg so hard he nearly bounces off and lands in the snow. 

Ranoo leans down and lifts Michael into his arm, smoothing one hand over the course bristles on his head, “Hey, bud.” 

Micheal snuffles softly and rests his head against Ranboo’s chest. Tubbo makes a high pitched noise and Ranboo gives him an alarmed look. Tubbo’s eyes are practically sparkling as he presses his hands to his cheeks. 

“That’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen,” He whisper-shouts.”

Ranboo rolls his eyes with the utmost affection, “That’s what you say anytime we do anything.”

Tubbo gives him a cheeky grin, “And every time it _is_ the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Ranboo does not blush, he  _ doesn’t _ . He hikes Michael up higher, the tiny Piglin’s fingers curling tighter into his cloak as he lets out a sleepy murmur. It’s far past Michael’s usual bedtime, and he’s starting to crash. 

Ranboo pulls Tubbo into a hug, it lingers as Tubbo’s arms wind around his waist and he tugs Ranboo closer, resting his forehead against his chest. They stay there a moment, rocking gently back and forth, their son cradled between them. 

* * *

Ranboo arrives back to his house in the dead of night, the full moon lighting the tundra for miles in every direction. The light had thankfully kept most mobs away, and Ranboo’s heavily armed and keyed up enough to take care of any unlucky stragglers before they pose a threat to the precious bundle sleeping against Ranboo’s shoulder. 

He breathes a sigh of relief as the commune comes into view, subtly picking up the pace. His footsteps are feather-light as he strides toward his home, finally having gotten the hang of walking on Arctic snow without breaking through the thick crust on the very top. It’s taken  _ weeks _ of Phil laughing at him as he floundered his way through thigh-deep snow before he’d managed it. He’d have to teach Michael someday. 

Ranboo doesn’t fully relax until Michael is sound asleep in the comfort room, curled up in the center of a bed Phil had helped him make earlier in the day. Ranboo sets his gauntlets aside and gently scrubs his claws across Michael’s head. The little Piglin lets out a soft whuffling noise and snuggles further down into the blankets.

Ranboo yawns, his jaw clicking as it unhinges. He blindly fiddles with the buckles of his armor until his chestplate comes away, leaving the backplate. He blearily slides down the headboard until he’s curled protectively around his son, a shield between him and the world. He falls asleep as Micheal tucks himself against his chest, curling a small hand in the soft material of his dad’s shirt. 

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Ranboo takes a breath as he walks toward his house, he glances up- the door’s open.  _ The door’s open _ . He drops his tools to the snow, uncaring where they fall, and  _ sprints.  _

“Michael,” He gasps, as he shoulders the door open, “Michael!” There’s no familiar snuffling, no sounds of trotting hoof steps, the house is silent and cold. Ranboo wastes no time, tearing through the house, checking every possible hiding spot, and even some impossible ones. It’s unlikely he’s locked himself in a chest, but you never know. 

Every empty room raises his panic until he’s nearly tearing his hair out. He, he needs, he needs to-  _ Phil _ . 

“Phil!” The terrified shout tears it’s way out of his throat as he slams back outside, the door bouncing off the wall in his haste. 

* * *

Phil looks up, sure he’d just heard his name. He starts to turn and comes face to face with Ranboo, skidding to a stop. 

He grabs the young half-ender’s upper arms, “Woah, mate, calm down, what’s-”

“Michael’s gone.” Ranboo gasps out. 

Phil freezes, dread cascading down his spine, “Shit.” 

“I already checked the house and he’s- he’s not  _ there _ . He could be  _ anywhere _ ,” Ranboo whispers, running his hands through his hair. 

“Alright, calm down, mate. Panic won’t help us find Michael. He’s small, he can't have gotten far.” He hesitates, “It… might be easier with three people look-”

“No!” Ranboo jerks upright, panic in his eyes as his fingers go tight in the fabric of Phil’s outer robe. 

Phil sighs, lifting his hands to disentangle Ranboo’s, “Alright, mate, alright. We’ll spread out, move in a pattern. We’ll find him.” He glances up at the sky, already turning grey with swiftly gathering clouds, and grimaces, “We should move, we’ve only got so much time.”

* * *

Techno has no idea what Ranboo and Phil have been up to the last few days. They’re obviously working on  _ something. _ He’s left them alone for now, he doesn’t need to know everything that’s going on, no matter how his skin itches and the voices whisper. Besides, Phil obviously knows about it. He might even have been the one who roped Ranboo into it, instead of the other way around. 

He shakes his head and lets out a frustrated grunt, only to nearly trip face first into a snowbank when something behind him echoes it. He draws his sword and spins, dropping into a ready guard. He spots his would-be opponent and blinks, utterly nonplussed. There's a baby standing behind him. A baby zombie piglin standing in the middle of the arctic circle behind the famed Technoblade, acolyte of the Blood God. 

“What.” He deadpans. 

_ “Baba?” _ The kid squeals at him in Piglish, tilting his head.

Techno ignores the sudden surge of  _ Awww, Technodad!, Adopt him, it’s a tiny Techno,  _ and the rather nonsensical,  _ Michael! _ His sword wavers, before he drops it with a sigh, moving to sheathe it, “No, kid. I’m not your dad.” 

The piglin stomps a hoof, huffing, “ _ Where’s my Babas?”  _

Techno pinches the brow of his nose, “How’d you even  _ get _ here? Shouldn’t you be in the nether?”

“ _ Boat! _ ” he shrieks, “ _ Babas got a boat for Michael! _ ”

“Guess that explains who Michael is then.”

“ _ Michael, Michael, Michael!” _ The kid trills happily, Techno smiles ever so slightly. Michael isn’t a Piglin name, whoever’s kid this is, they’re obviously from the overworld. He thinks of dusty red netherrack and a man with grey wings and the kindest smile he’s ever seen, holding out a hand. 

The kid holds his arms up,  _ “Hello! Up, please!”  _

Techno snorts and reaches down, lifting the kid up until they’re face to face. The kid gently tips forward until he can sniff at Techno’s snout, Techno snuffles politely back at him. 

The kid pats at Techno’s snout,  _ “Thank you! Name?”  _

Techno hesitates, debating internally, before finally introducing himself in Piglish. He doesn’t really  _ have _ a name, Technoblade is just a translated version of his title. The kid speaks Piglish, so he’s obviously lived in the nether for part of his life. There’s a chance he knows the implications, and equal chance he might not. 

The kid’s eyes go wide and round, practically sparkling, when Techno growls and snorts out his title as the Blood God’s acolyte. Michael repeats Techno’s title in awe. Techno can practically feel the hero-worship radiating off the kid. He abruptly realizes he’s still holding the kid under the armpits, his legs dangling. He awkwardly starts to lower the kid back to the ground.

_ “No! Cold! Cold, cold, cold!”  _ The kid squeals, tucking his legs up to his chest. He’s kitted out for winter, thank the gods, with a fluffy hood, thick mittens, and a pair of warm socks modified for his tiny hooves. There’s even a pair of snow goggles around his neck. It doesn’t seem like he was abandoned to die out here, lovingly bundled up and obviously cared for. Techno will have to have some  _ words _ with the kid’s dads if it turns out otherwise. 

_ Aw, _ the voices coo,  _ he’s only had Michael for fifteen minutes but if anything happened to him he’d kill everyone in L’Manberg and then himself, he already did kill everyone in L’Manberg, oh yeah, lmao that was funny _

Techno doesn’t quite know where to put Michael that's not the snowy, and apparently cold, ground. He awkwardly tucks the kid into the crook of one arm, where he can hide from the drifting flakes under his heavy cape. 

The kid snuggles in with a softly sighed, “ _ Warm.” _ Techno’s heart isn’t moved at all. If a single manly tear slips down his face, that’s between him and the wind. 

“Hang on, kid, I’ll find your parents.” He can’t help but feel a pang of worry, wondering what happened to them. Was there a couple out there, separated from their beloved child, injured, lost, maybe even dead? He knew what it was like to wait for someone that was never coming back. He wouldn’t wish that on the poor kid. And if it turned out that they had left the kid on purpose? Well. Blood for the Blood God. 

* * *

Phil and Ranboo met back at the commune hours later. Phil’s heart sank when he saw Ranboo’s lone figure emerge from the drifting snow, and he’s sure Ranboo’s did the same. It’s getting late, and the clear blue sky had turned white and cold as snow started falling around midday. It’s picked up enough that Phil’s sure they’re in for a storm. They’re running out of time. He nearly curses when he hears Techno’s crunching footsteps emerge from the woods, the Piglin hybrid finally returning from his patrol of the boundary. 

Techno raises a hand briefly in greeting, his cloak wrapped tightly around himself, “Hey, Phil. Hey, Ranboo.”

“Hey, mate.” Phil returns tiredly. 

Techno shifts, shooting a brief glance at Ranboo, his voice is hesitant as he turns back to Phil, “Can I uh, talk to you?”

“Not right now. I’m doing something important.” Phil can’t help the snappishness, but he doesn’t stop to feel bad. Techno getting in the way is the last thing they need right now.

“This is important too.” Techno says quietly, in the way that means the subject actually matters to him. Phil grimaces, but Techno’s rarely-acknowledged feelings can wait, there’s a missing child and a blizzard rolling in. A bad one too, by the looks of it. 

He turns to face his old friend fully, unable to hide the annoyance laced through his voice, “We’re doing something, Techno. Can’t it  _ wait _ .” 

Techno draws up short, his face flashing with hurt before it fades into blank nonchalance, “Fine. If you want to be responsible for the creation of another orphan, go ahead.” 

Ranboo, silently spiralling into panic in the background, jolts back to attention, “What- what did you say?” 

Techno shifts his cape to one side, revealing Michael, sound asleep where he’s curled up against Techno, soaking up his body heat. 

Ranboo makes a noise like a parrot that’s just been stepped on. 

“The kid's parents are out there  _ somewhere _ . And we- we need to  _ find _ them.” Techno says stiffly, obviously agitated. Every line of his body’s gone tense and wary, bristling with offence and badly disguised hurt. Practically  _ daring _ either of them to remark on his obvious emotional investment. 

Phil gapes for a second, stunned speechless. He swallows, glances at Ranboo, faintly adds, “Right. Of course”

Michael makes a sleepy little noise and blinks awake, he spots Ranboo and brightens immediately. Phil has time to think  _ ah, fuck _ , before the kid’s leaning out so far it’s only Techno’s quick reflexes that save him from tumbling to the snow below. Ranboo twitches, barely holding himself back from leaping into action. Michael points at Ranboo and very seriously states something in nonsensical baby babble, looking back at Techno. 

Except it isn't something nonsensical at all because Techno’s eyes go wide, he looks at the kid, then at Ranboo and says, “ _ You’re _ his dad _? _ You have a kid? Since  _ when _ , and why didn’t you  _ tell  _ me?” 

Michael squirms, “ _ Down please! Baba, baba! Look, there he is! My baba, my boo!”  _

Techno snorts, “Yeah, yeah. There you go kid.” He sets Michael down and he immediately runs up to Ranboo, stumbling through the drifts of snow, he tugs at Ranboo’s pant leg, and Ranboo bends down to pick him up on autopilot. 

“You, you found him?” Ranboo asks finally, staring down at his son, safe in his arms, “You brought him back?” His brows wrinkle together, “You understand him?” He looks up, making eye contact with Technoblade.

Techno blinks at him, “I mean, yeah. He speaks Piglish like a kid, which, understandable, but it’s not like it’s  _ that _ hard.”

Ranboo looks back down at his son, dumbfounded, “We thought he was just speaking gibberish.”

“Common’s too hard for baby Piglins, can’t do the sounds with the tusks.” Techno gestures to the sharp teeth protruding from above his bottom lip, “He understands it well enough though. He’ll probably start speaking in full sentences out of nowhere in a year or so. S’what I did.” He suddenly seems to register that both Phil and Ranboo are staring at him in shock, “...what?”

“Tubbo and I adopted a kid. This kid. Michael.” Ranboo suddenly blurts.

Phil slaps a hand to his face so hard Techno would wince in sympathy if he wasn’t so busy being confused, “O...kay?”

“You’re not... mad?” Ranboo asks tentatively. 

“Should I be?”

“Tubbo’s- I mean isn’t Tubbo… don’t you hate him?”

“No? He’s just a guy being a dude. I mean, he’s got nukes which is, y’know, kinda terrifying, but there’s no government involved, so it’s fine I guess.” 

Ranboo takes a breath, letting out a slightly dizzy sounding, “Oh.”

Techno frowns, “Did you guys really think I would, what? Fly into a murderous rampage?” Both Phil and Ranboo shift and Techno’s heart sinks, “Ah.”

“You can’t deny that you can hold a grudge, Tech,” Phil sighs, “I can too. 

And Techno, Techno wants to be offended, wants to be hurt, but both of them obviously  _ seriously _ thought he might hurt Michael and maybe- He'd like to think he wouldn’t, but in the wrong circumstances… well. 

He grimaces, and puts his hurt feelings aside, “I’m not gonna hurt Michael. And I’m not- mad at you or anythin’, Ranboo.” 

Ranboo shifts and lets out a sigh of relief, “Oh. Oh yeah, that’s. That’s good, thank you.” 

Michael curls his fingers into Ranboo’s cloak and leans backward until he can look at Techno, “ _ You know my Baba? _ ”

“ _ Yeah, kid. I know your Baba.” _ Techno grunts back.

The kid lights up and wonderingly says, “ _ Parent-friend? _ ” Except, in Piglish, it means something between uncle, and teacher, and  _ family _ . Techno internally swears to stand between this child and a thousand armies. He’ll protect this kid with his  _ life _ . 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if I'm happy with this chapter but, y'know, it be like that sometimes


End file.
